“good job,” bad idea?
I have been reading some websites about child rearing and have come across some different (weird) theories. Some I agree with and some are way, way out there!
One guy, Alfie Kohn, is one those hippie types, I think. He has one theory that telling kids “good job” is actually a bad idea in the long run. It does not reassure them is actually makes them less secure. One reason is that we (parents) say “good job” when kids clean up by themselves, wash their hands or share- whatever it is, because we are actually lazy and since the kids are doing themselves we get off the hook! Don’t we want our kids to be self sufficient? I sure do. He says that we should do the activities with our kids. When do we let them go? It is great when kids take their dishes to the sink and wash their hands by themselves! He alo says we are a society of “praise junkies.” I would have to agree, but we all want to hear that we are doing a god job sometimes.
Is this guy nuts, or am I just biased?